Ahoy Mateys, I be Captain Battery.
Dread Pirate Vane be me monniker.
My moniker be a long one but, Arrrrr here we go
Captain Rowdy Underhanded Cheating Insideous Arrrrnold Longbeard
...but you can call me Al
phew! I need me a Captain Morgan and Coke now...
I be Lord Doc Maynard Captain of the Miss Lvira Storm.
Avast, ye scurvy swabs. I be Hairbeard. Aye, me beard be all made of HAIR!!! YAR HAR HAR HAR HARRRR!!
I Be Capt. Hotstuff.
Aye, I be Swabby Mulblesalot;
Arrg, me be 3FingeredWetWilly.
I'd love to tell ye me name, but the memory is not so good any more. That's why I'm here. Need that memory badly. I guess that would make me Captain CRS.
I be called most often by "NappyChin," fer mah beard she's a tanglin' mess o' knotty hairs, and each of 'em has a terrible story ta tell.